Cheating men in the army…?
I just got married to a infantry soldier and now im hearing all these stories about how men in the army cheat on their wives on deployments/training. Is all this true? Why do they do it? My husband is very moral but he's a new soldier joining an active duty unit...im worried he'll get influenced by his friends to cheat/go to strip clubs and other such stuff. We're both 20 yrs old so i hope everything works out. We've been together for 4 yrs and hes like my best friend. I really hope he doesnt cheat on me. He lied to me about some things in the past. Like he had training in thailand for 3 weeks and once he got home one of the men from his unit told me he was in the same hotel room as his buddy who was having sex with a hooker. I confronted him about it and he told me he stayed in the room bc there was nowhere else to go. I love him and wanna believe him. Idk what to do...maybe that was just a mistake he made once and it wont happen again. Im worried something like this will happen again...why are men in the military this way? Im not saying all...i know there is guys out there who are loving and faithful as well.
May 8th, 2010 - 20:14
i hear it’s the other way around, that it’s the wives cheating and spending their husbands money while they’re in bed with every other guy in town.
May 8th, 2010 - 20:59
I find it is the wives who do most of the cheating. The guys are mostly too busy on deployments and at remote locations to go anywhere.
May 8th, 2010 - 21:08
It’s the other way around
While the guy is deployed the wife or girlfriend cheats on them
May 8th, 2010 - 21:25
It’s not a requirement of service. If he’s going to cheat, he’ll cheat whether he’s in the service or not.
May 8th, 2010 - 22:17
no its not true.
May 8th, 2010 - 22:23
they do this because their getting to horny, think about it, being far away from your girl for a really long time can cause men to get needy pretty much like guys in prisons. All you can do now is to hope and trust that he won’t do anything that can damage your relationship, and if anything he should be worrying you finding some one else in life while he’s away at war. Well you got nothing to worry about when he get sent to Iraq because soldiers spend most of their time in base camp meaning they can’t bring any hookers into their tent. the only time when they get to leave the camp is to go on war duty or go back home for a little bit.
May 8th, 2010 - 22:45
The cats away the mice WILL play…. believe me on that one. It’s just the way it is. It’s natural….
May 8th, 2010 - 23:39
Men have needs – that’s all I’m saying.
I often worked away on location (not as a soldier), but one day chucked in a twenty year old relationship because I needed a change.
No regrets.
Nearly 8 years after, me and my new partner still love each other so much, and it was worth the sacrifice.
Thumbs down all you like – I know not all men are the same, but I worked at the stagnant relationship too long.
Younger men are more likely to stray when away from their partners, especially when in groups.
May 9th, 2010 - 00:30
Whyyyy do 20 year olds get married??? Why would you get married to him if you don’t trust him? I don’t get it! Oh and if a man wants to cheat, he’s going to cheat whether or not he is in the military.
May 9th, 2010 - 00:36
If he is gonna cheat he’ll just do it, there is no stopping him, cuz thats the way guys are.
But if he isn’t than trust me lady he’ll be more loyal and faithful than a dog.
Has nothing to do with the army.
May 9th, 2010 - 01:02
Regardless if he is in the military or not, if he is going to cheat, he is going to cheat. Trust is something you are going to have to rely on to make your relationship work, especially being a military wife, and without it their really is no relationship. You have been together long enough for him to know what is right and what is wrong. Don’t get caught up in too much of the gossip that goes on in the units, half of it is unreliable, the other half is intended just to make trouble. The military is notorious for gossip.
May 9th, 2010 - 01:43
Little Red Hen has it correct. You are very young and maybe you still believe in fairy tales, but the fact that someone is in the army does not increase their chance of cheating. He either is or isn’t going to cheat based on his moral compass and integrity. Truck drivers cheat, doctors cheat, men of the cloth cheat…..occupation does not increase or lessen the likelihood that someone will cheat. As to why they do it, you need to pick up a copy of Steve Harvey’s book..”Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man” so that some things can become clear to you.
May 9th, 2010 - 02:08
It is the man or the woman, not their job. I’ve been in the military for 20 years and always found it to be a personality trait, not a cause and effect of military service.
May 9th, 2010 - 03:07
Yes there is a lot of cheating but there is also a lot of faithful people, it boils down to how your husband is, if he would cheat at home he will cheat away…..also worrying about it and drilling him on it will only push him if he is already on the fence…so trust him until he gives you reason not to.
Trust me, they like to say what goes on deployment/tdy stays there but that is pure BS because if it did spouses wouldnt be divorcing after deployments…and that goes for the wives as well, they cheat they get caught, someone always talks.
May 9th, 2010 - 04:05
Have you ever heard a good story about a woman in labor? Probably not and the same dynamic is at work here. Look, long story short, you cannot control very much that goes on in your husband’s life, you can only control how you react to it. My husband has been in 20 years having been both an NCO and now an officer. He is a good looking man with a great deal going for him and it is obvious to everyone. Of course I love him and of course I want our marriage to last. That being said, I do not ever mention any temptations, I just tell him that there is nothing out there better than the amazing thing we have at home. Also, I periodically tell him if he is going to cheat then he just needs to get it over with…my reasoning is, that if he is going to destroy everything, better to do it sooner than later (please do not waste any more of my time than necessary). I make sure my husband knows I am amazing and that I am not a typical, reactionary type of personality. He has no doubt that my life will go on and be fulfilling without him if he ever ruined us. Must be working, we have been together a long time.